quirkothetrade

05:07 pm: Mm.org,which seems okay:

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_ch.php/92209/566219#fic_c

and aff.net which is cutting part of the chapter off every time I try to fully upload it:

http://anime.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544177084&chapter=23

The part that got cut is under my bio/author space.

Been burning the candle at both ends and not sleeping enough lately.

04:11 am: it's frustrating!
@#$%%%^! I've been rewriting the same stuff over and over 'cause they keep redoing their lines and Gojyo is being an angst bitch. A single word changes every little thing when I see them in my head and listen to them, and they KEEP changing things just enough to make it hard. Damn it, y'all, quit listening to the muse! Especially you two, Goku and Gojyo!

Anyone got a mallet?

>whining and moaning< I'm tired of all the re-writes.

03:27 am: :P
Got done being mad at mom. Still irritated with everyone else. But I tried out the new thing which I'm tentatively calling 'chakra reprogramming' my mentor's working on and it's helped me moved through LOTS of annoying emotional baggage. I only wonder how I'm going to detail this so I can put it in my notebook of treatments. I don't do things like my mentor, so...

Anyway, moving on. Got nominated at this place, tho since it's done by the week, I thinks it's already gone by. But, it has the potential for being an awesome source of fan fiction once it gets up and going, so I like it. Linkage:

http://thereadershavechosen.eternflame.com/forum/index.php

08:45 pm: pissy rant- sister
This is a pissy rant about my third oldest sister and fraternal twin, who has a TV, DVD, VCR, and PS2 all in her room and yet one can't watch anything on her TV because she's fucked it up. There is no excuse for her to have fucked it up, because she's got one of those all in one thingys and they haven't yet switched to DTV. She even has rabbit ear antennae. So why the hell is the TV not working?????? I haven't seen her watch a VHS in a long ass time, and she tells me these's no power to the VCR but there was when I poked at it BECAUSE SHE'S WATCHING SOMETHING ON THE MAIN ROOM TV WHEN I WANT TO WATCH SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. What the fuck is the point of having all that junk IN YOUR OWN ROOM if you don't use it, and no one else can 'cause you're a whiny, wanna-be-fifteen-year old and hog everything? I'm tired of the computer, my eyes are tired, I want to listen to a show while I crochet and give my eyes time to recover, and have to be careful 'cause my elbow and shoulder are giving me fits (especially with the cold snap).

'Teaching Goku', ch 23? Is gonna be late. Thank my sister.

12:45 am: crocheting
I've taken up crocheting again. It's something I learned when I was little, tho not seriously. I'm starting from the beginning again. But I need to find more places to find yarn, especially when Wal-Mart downsized the poor crafts department a few years after running most of the small stores out of business. Bastards.

For some reason, I'm finding myself watching Scrubs and South Park late at night. I can understand me watching Scrubs, but not South Park. Inner child, maybe?

I think I need to do more work to get to another ego eating. I feel rather judgmental lately, when I'm not supposed to. I meditate and I'm fine, but like at the store and a woman won't take care of her child when it's crying? Some ass litters? It's like I become Chang WuFei crying, 'Injustice!'

The Hime Sama would be doing better with her hurt ear if the youngest idiot Dixie WOULD STOP BITING AND PULLING ON SAID EAR. It's seriously being a chore to make Dixie-dog leave her alone. I'm treating her with herbals and stuff, but Dixie wants to play like usual with the Hime and I want them to NOT.

Thank you, God, for this oppertunity to be patient.

Restarted FF XII again. Larsa~! <3

03:05 pm: electric kettle
Yesterday, I bought an electric kettle. It was cheap and didn't have nifty buttons or anything. But I'm impressed with the speed at which it heats. Hot water for tea, coffee, chocolate, anything you want really. Since all I've been wanting is warm drinks for the past few days, I'm happy with it. I have been sick with detox crap in my head and throat, moving up, a major part of which has been congestion. So warm things help.

Incidentally, yesterday was the first day I'd left the house for longer than a hour in days.

I'm not sure if I should bitch about the weather here or not. At night we freeze, during the day we hit eighty. On top of which, we're in the middle of an 'exceptional' drought. If it rains, everyone's screwed. Texans seem to forget how to drive in the rain when it hasn't rained in three months. It's been a year or more here, at least for more than a trace.

Every time I try to meditate, I fall asleep. :P

04:35 pm: Tomorrow Finally Comes (naruto fic), ch. 2 linkage
I forgot to post this. It's not Teaching Goku, but it'll do.

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600096738&chapter=2

TG should be next, tho.

Tags: tomorrow finally comes fic

04:39 am: >sigh
Thanksgiving turned out quiet. We didn't cook as much, so we were pretty much done with leftovers by the second day. But it threw my diet off by eating stuff I'm not used to anymore; my parents took me to the emergency room some time after tweleve with left arm aching and recurrent heartburn, just incase it was my heart. I was freaked out and couldn't sleep, and couldn't get 'into' myself with my muscle-testng, and my mentor couldn't either, probably cause she's been sick as all get out with detox and stuff. It was weird, dealing with western medicine again. It went smoothly enough, tho when they put the line in my arm the blood gushed out. Everything came back fine, but they think I have an ulcer. I don't get it with my muscletesting, but since I've been so stressed out it'd be better to just take the stomach medicine and shut up. I had the same thing for a while in high school, too. Until I can work on myself safely, I'll follow what I can.

Maybe I should do more tai chi or something. Or maybe I should avoid Dawn of Mana; it's pissing me off.

05:30 am: >yawn
I'm glad Thanksgiving is over. I stayed up late last night cooking pies and prep work and the turkey. Mom said it was a pretty turkey. It was pretty, browned nicely and stuff, but I think it could have been more tender. Eh, just nit-picking I guess.

I wantted to pimp these things:

Flakedice. A xxxHolic writer, who's pretty darned good. I love her lord and prince series, but all of her stuff is good. The lord and prince tends to capture the freaked out air in the manga. The anime's okay, but it doesn't have the flip out air that gives it that edge. Her LJ is the place with the most ficcage, and she writes long ass chapters that last no time at all. No beta.

http://flakedice.livejournal.com/14302.html#cutid1

and giveaway of the day. With patience, you can get some good stuff.

http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/

01:32 pm: :P
Yo.

I'm on Gaia, now. quirkothetrade, email quirkothetrade@yahoo.com .

I'm posting a couple of links to two Ibiki/Neji fictions on aff.net, just in case anyone wants them. I think I like the first one better, tho.

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600093432

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600095296

On another note, what the hell is with authors erasing their work from archives? One on ff.net and one on aff.net. I'm glad I've gotten paranoid and taken to copying stuff in case that shit happens. Is it because they were caught by a family member and grilled for it or what?

06:50 am: Most Uncool
I've been working on mom's dog, a little chuhaha(sp?) who's been sick for the past two months, but especially these last two weeks. He died this past weekend, which... really pisses me off. He was doing really well until about four days before. I was resetting him for eight, nine and ten things almost every hour trying to work thru his issues. I know he had a better life with mom than he did before she got him, but I'm still over all pissed.

This years just seems to sucking. That makes the fifth death in the family, counting my brother, grandfather, uncle and the family friend. And I know the uncle didn't have to die; they do make pacemakers that don't react near microwaves,which was how he died. You just have to have the money to afford one. I haven't told my dad(it's his brother) or anyone else in the family. It would just stir up shit.

Tags: pissed

04:31 am: Long time no write
I've been busy with RL. My mentor is driving me nuts- I think she needs to lay off the pot. Seriously. My mom's dog has been sick, and I've been working on him- he's doing better now. I seem to be working on a Naruto fic that's more based on Lee than anyone else, and the muse is actually poking at the next chapter of TG with a stick instead of letting the writer's block sit on it while I attempt to write something publishable.

I recently discovered bento lunchs, and I quite like it. I make them for my sister more than myself, but that's fine. I'll try to remember to post some of the pictures I've been taking of them.

The latest 'metaphysical' thing I've done is have my own ego-eating. I laid down, invoked angels and the like to watch over me while I did more chakra clearing, and instead I go into vision mode. I'm lying down like I'm lying down, and 3 African male lions come and eat me down to nothing but a skull. Since I'm such a Marian and Magdalen follower, that makes me laugh. A skull typically means wisdom, or wisdom without judgement.

Syn, if you read this, can I ask a favor? Do you have a copy of that fiction I wrote you, the Ibiki/Naruto one? If so, can you copypasta it for me or email it, please? I can't find it anywhere, not even on my back-up e-book, and I'd like a copy to review. I typically copy stuff to the e-book for just that reason, so I feel stupid for not having it.

New distraction: http://www.ponystars.com/qchan

The bastards gave me the mature female on my fourth day, before I was even a third of the way of reading into the forums. It irritates me, but she's kind of pretty, so...

Tags: journaling, whining

02:24 pm: In Texas
We're fine here in Texas. We're between Austin and San Antonio in left field, so to speak, and were out of the path that H. Ike eventually took. Watching all of that on the news is emotionally exausting, though, especially since I stayed up tracking weather notes to pray over. I was already exausted, tho, from my body detoxing crap and trying to write and cover all the usual bases at home. This isn't working well, so I'm going to have to take time to evaluate how I use my time so that I don't tire and burn myself out. My sleep time always seems to go up when I hit that point, and that seems to be all I do lately with free time. >sigh< I haven't even been leaving the house lately, either.

My basic prayer for shit like hurricanes and accidents and stuff:
Thank you, God, for letting it be a tap on the fender and not a head-on collision.

I have been poking my stories, don't worry. TG is poking back, and that Naruto fic I wrote a first chapter to is poking, too. I've been working on Ivory Tower from GW from 'way back when', but the muse keeps having to drag it kicking and screaming from under the covers. Damned sleeping story. But, I want more music/songs to listen to as I write TG. A harder part is next, considering what Hakkai did, and it took careful rewriting and self betaing to make the last one readable. To me, tons of spelling mistakes stood out and disjointed thoughts, so I was being bitchy about it. :P

I've been making bentos for my sister, Onee-chan. Sometimes for myself, but mostly for her since she works outside the house. I've tried making stuff for dad, but he's a picky asshole and shit so, eeeeh. The cute wars with the practical, since some of the cute presentation is a little wasteful if you're not careful, so I'm having a hard time balancing the two. I'll try to put up my favorite ones later. -_-

Tags: journaling

02:20 am: tg chapter 22
Chapter 22 is up at freaking last. Linkage:

http://anime.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544177084&chapter=22

02:01 am: shitty day is shitty
So, I've been busting my ass trying to clean the house my brother died in because one of my friends and mentors asked my mother if she could move in. I'm the only one cleaning, pretty much and she wants me to go and 'stay with her'. In our family's house. Yeeeaaaaaaahhh...

She's been bitching about the person who she was staying with, that she's been bitchy and stuff, etc. And today, she showed up and talked to my mom again, about how she wanted to go ahead and move in now, even tho the house isn't ready, because the other woman is being bitchy. Then she goes asking mom if she's selling this and that, because my mom was trying to put out stuff for me to use that I like and it was scattered all over the counter and LIKE ITS ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS WHAT MY MOM IS DOING????

Seriously, she has no damned tact or whatever which is why all her other friends get pissed and ask when she's moving out. Maybe if she did, and learned to keep her mouth shut, people wouldn't get so pissed off at her.

She wants to leave Texas as soon as fucking possible, and she's being a pain in the ass and trying to rush us to go, too. Fuck you, man, get your own boat west. You're not riding our coat tails, we have at least five generations of shit to go thru first, and we're trying to do it on top of the deaths of a family friend, my brother, my grandpa and uncle. Also, considering its 100 degrees almost every day and we don't have A/C, every bit of work is a freaking miracle.

On top of which, I'm trying to write fanfics and fiction to sell, revamp the workbook, do research, and do my holistic work and spiritual work, too.

And that bitch has the nerve to say she'll 'rock/change my world'.

Not if I decide to leave the house every fucking day, you won't. Fellow healer or not, mentor or not, friend or not, mercury in retrogade or not, just keep fucking around right now when our wounds as a family are fresh and see if I don't throw your ass out. Just because your sorry ass doesn't want to sign a damned lease and we have a death emptied house doesn't mean SHIT.

>breathes deeply< Shit, I'm tempted to tell her to leave anyway, for just barging in like she's fucking entitled. I'm not done cleaning the house, and I don't fucking appreciate her jealousies.

Bitch.

Tags: bitching, moaning., ranting

04:20 am: yay!
I'm getting typing done on the next chapter of Teaching! I'm so happy. Now if I can just type fast enough, I'll get it out sooner.

On another note, I think I want to find a hard core beta group, for fiction i want to publish. But how do i find one??

01:46 pm: >sigh
Okay, now my grandpapa in Mexico died. And my uncle, who'd just had a heartattack and pacemaker, went down for the funeral, got around a microwave, and had another 3 heartattacks. And THEN he died. >bangs head against wall< Does no-one on the planet understand that self abuse in any form is still ABUSE? Pacemaker+microwave= uncoolest thing ever.

Found the funniest thing on lj under someone's name mariagoner: snarky ff12 fanfiction, of the Larsa/Penelo bend, tho it's more crushing!Larsa and run away!Penelo. 'Course, it's funnier as hell to see a Larsa with a crush and a Penelo dodging such ideas. Pretty good writing, too- and since Larsa's not getting anywhere, I'm unsure that it counts as true shota or just a kind of growing pains type thing. It was called Knots, Ties and Tides. I'll try to find a link and add it later- it's that good.

And this you can ignore, but since I'm involved in holistic healing and stuff, it's a little important to me. >is showing witchy/shamanic, tree-hugging bleeding heart roots<
+++

Wolf Cry

Two days ago I was awakened in the early morning hours with this message: "Call your tribe." I am not an indigenous person so the word 'tribe' coming at me like this is a bit startling. However, working with the Great Council of the Grandmothers who have come to return the earth to balance, and working with the teaching and helping spirits of the upper and lower world have taught me to sit loose in the saddle and let myself go where I am being guided.



It was Wolf, the great teacher, who was speaking. "Call your tribe," he said again. "Call them and tell them the time is NOW! They are needed!" he emphasized. " More people are needed to do the work of holding the Net of Light at this time," he said. "Tell them to call on the Net of Light and take their place on it. Ask them to then hold it and cast the Net further and further. Wherever there is suffering on earth and where there are people who long to serve, but don't know how-cast the Net of Light," he said. "Tell everyone you know," he said, "and write an article calling people to the Net of Light." When the spirits speak to me like this, I listen.



The Net of Light is called by different names. Web of Light, Grid of Light, Indra's Net, Net of Life and Net of Light are a few. They all, however, refer to the same thing. The Great Council of the Grandmothers say, "This is the Net of Light that will hold the earth during the times of change that are now upon you." ("A Call to Power: the Grandmothers Speak" by Sharon McErlane)



A few weeks ago the Grandmothers said, "In addition to casting the Net of Light wherever there is suffering on the earth, begin now to also cast to people who are disturbed by the rise of negativity on earth and want to help in some way. Many of them have no spiritual path to follow," they said. " They cannot relate to organized religion and they have not found a way that speaks to their heart. We ask you to cast the Net of Light to them now," they said, "so the Net can take them to their path." When Wolf woke me in the middle of the night he was basically repeating what the Grandmothers had said, except that his message was much more urgent, ("Tell them that the time is NOW!")



It is my experience that the Grandmothers and the helping spirits do not mess around and they ask that now we not mess around either. They are asking for our help. You can think of the Net as a lighted fishnet that covers the earth, holds it from above, from below and at the same time penetrates the body of the planet as well as the body of everything that lives here on earth. The Net is lit by the jewel of the heart of each person who holds it; it is held in selfless service.



The Grandmothers urge us to "Go forward now and take your place on the Net of Light. Somewhere where two strands come together is a place that will feel just right for you. Walk forward now and take your place. Hold this place on the Net and let the Net hold you. You hold and you are held in light," they say.



At this point there are thousands of people working with the Net of Light through the Grandmothers network as well as seventy Grandmothers groups focused on spreading their message in different countries of the world. The Grandmothers say, "From this place on the Net of Light, cast now to those who do not know that they too are held in light. Cast to those who are suffering and also to those who wish to help with this work but who have not had a way to access the healing, love of the Net of Light. We ask you to do this for yourself," they say, "and for everything that lives. And as you work with the Net of Light," they add, "you will become a walking blessing upon the earth.



"We bless you.



Both the Grandmothers' website: www.grandmothersspeak.com, and 'A Call to Power: the Grandmothers Speak' give a more detailed explanation of the Net of Light.



We have been asked to get this message to as many people as possible, so if you have suggestions as to where we might post this (magazines, newsletters, etc.), please get back to me. Also please forward to people who would resonate with this urgent message.



I salute the beauty/power within you,

Sharon McErlane

Tags: family, ffxii fanfiction, net of light, wolf cry

02:14 am: Fucked up
I ended coming back earlier from the friend's apartment. All I did was go thru emotional release after emotion release, even after my sister came to stay a few nights. I could barely stop crying. My brother, the one with scirosis of the liver, finally died that Saturday. What the fuck is up with me, that I anticipated that on some level like a week or more in advance? And I didn't calm down for days afterward, either. I'm still not totally calm- I'm concentrating on getting my family moved west. Arizona is the best bet.

01:49 am: Away from Home
I'm cat sitting and apartment sitting a friend's place in another town. At first I had flip outs, flashing back to some of my agoraphobia days, and now I'm just kind of blah. Being away from my family so far away makes me wonder at just how far I've actually come with working on my issues. Oh, well.

Tags: blah

01:29 am: Yaaaaaaaaaaaay
I'm going to go spend a few days with friends, then go cat- and apartment sit for one of those friends, 'cause she's going to Hawaii. It'll be the first time, techniqually, that I've spent the night away from any family or friends what so ever. I'm a little leery of that, but it feels more like an old jerk knee reaction than anything. I feel a little bad, because we're kind of in the middle of spring cleaning, but I'm more relieved than anything. I'm just... really, really tired of the pregzilla, and since I've trying to avoid the rest of the household because of her, everyone else seems to be having a hard time cummunicating. I didn't think I played that big a part in our family, but apparently I'm the one who ensures cummunication in the household. Go figure.

I really want scans of Tyrant Falls In Love. I know it's been liscensed, but it's taking a looooooong time getting out, and I'm feeling impatient. Also, I can't seem to find my collection of Pet Shop of Horror graphic novels, so I'm wanting scans of that, too. It's hard to misplace scans. Scans= not-lost.

So far, it's a crappy birthday. The pregzilla's on the loose, and it pisses me off when my anee san talks to her. It makes me want to punch them both. (Forgive me, Gahdi.) I tend to take it out on anee san, and I don't like it, but it majorly pisses me off, especially when I can hear how loud they are from the next room. I sometimes wonder if Prezilla's not demented, from of the sounds she makes.

Oh, well. Time for EFT.

Tags: bitch, pissy, visiting